MIDNIGHT REVIEWS Mean Girls (2004)
Midnight Reviews features reviews and thought pieces written and edited by a parent, at night, after bedtime.
This afternoon’s movie…
“Want snail and whale, Daddy. Snail and whale.”
“Mummy, do we have time for The Snail and the Whale?”
“We do. But nothing after that.”
“Okay, you hear Mummy, this is the only thing we can watch this morning. Mummy needs to get you to nursery on time.”
“Little thing after?”
“No, we don’t have time, mate. Just this one.”
“Little thing after, Daddy?”
“No, I just said: we don’t have time.”
“Little thing after.”
Review: The Snail and the Whale, a tale of two animals of different scales on a trail involving a gale which tried to separate them to no avail, is a charming story which shows that any characters can be friends as long as they rhyme. I especially enjoyed the journey they went on, starting as friends but ending the story as friends.
I look forward to its sequels Aardvark and the Shark, George the Fox with the Christian Orthodox and Penguin in the Kremlin.
The evening review…
MEAN GIRLS (1hr 37mins)
Directed by: Mark Waters
Featuring: Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Amanda Seyfried
Synopsis: Cady Heron (Lohan), a girl who was home schooled and brought up in Africa, traverses the exciting and terrifying new world of the American school system. She quickly makes two friends who talk her into going undercover amongst the so-called plastics clique, but finds it difficult staying her true self amid the lies and deceit required to make it through a school year.
Review: I first noticed it in video games, with the introduction of DOOM (the 2016 version) alongside DOOM (the original). Then came Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2: The Reboot, a series of video games with a naming system so ridiculous they may as well call each one The Next One. But moving on from ripping open demons and stabbing foes in the back, we come to Mean Girls. Who knows what it will be referred to as? The Original? Mean Girls: The Lindsay Lohan One? Mean Girls: Origins?
But despite the confusion about whether the 2024 version will be a reboot, or a sequel, or even an alternate dimension featuring a post-credits scene involving Tina Fey meeting her younger self (I want to go there), it has been twenty years since the original and it can be safely said that it is definitely a product of its time. It has managed to avoid the pitfalls most comedies fall into in that it’s aged well, generally speaking, but whether you enjoy it or not may come down to whether you were alive when it was first released.
It remains incredibly quotable, as any film like this needs to be to survive. Cady Heron’s struggle to get through one year of school is still fun and it works because even on first viewing you know how it’s going to end. The film is relying on this in order to work. As much fun as Mean Girls is, there wasn’t any subversion of the form. It was and is a good time, but ironically this film about school will teach you nothing. It isn’t aiming for new, or even for realism. Most of the characters are archetypes and the film as a whole is polishing and presenting an already-established paradigm, relying on the events of the script to be vaguely close to a shared experience. If it’s not, then it relies on you at least recognising these archetypes. For the most part it works.
Whilst the bulk of the screentime is spent with Lohan and the plastics, featuring Rachel McAdams in one of the two roles that year that helped pull the spotlight onto her, the highlights are the side characters. Tim Meadows has always been excellent in this sort of role and makes it his own here, whilst Amy Poehler as Mrs George, sad matriarch of the plastics group, is just bizarre enough to stand out, but not cartoony enough to take us out of the story. This isn’t an SNL movie, but it has that flavour and is a better example of the ‘not actually funny, just a little strange’ brand of comedy.
Looking back after all the headlines, it’s almost remarkable that Lindsay Lohan is relatable in this role. But she pulls it off, just, showing her plastics side when undercover and vaguely inhabiting the role of uber-nerd when needed. She does achieve the careful balancing act of straight character and funny character, and the script helps with the odd surprising turn that brings laughter through surprise as well as drily-delivered one-liners.
Whilst the premise was hardly original when it came out, Mean Girls does perfect the sub-genre. Which makes me wonder why the new one is needed because if we want an amusing movie about a nerdy girl not sticking it to the horrendous bullies, but showing them the error of their ways, we can just stick with this piece that retains its charm and still movies at a swift pace even on multiple viewings.
Mean Girls, a movie that gives bus drivers everywhere a bad name, is available on Paramount + and Amazon Prime.
